Tiger’s Spanish Inquisition

 Len "Tiger" TimmsIt was after ‘O’ Levels, maybe 1971, and the Fifth Years were restless. Out on the sports pitches a little group trundled a heavy roller about, pretty close to the slope down to the “red grass” pitches. Maybe physics minded pupil thought an experiment into gravity, mass and velocity would be a good use of time. So, of course, inevitably, the roller gathered momentum on its unaccompanied journey down the steepest bit of slope, and apparently ploughed quite a furrow across the red grass. Perhaps it caused other damage as it went. Was there a fence around the red grass?

The carnage was spotted by a member of staff and Tiger Timms started investigations.
All fifth year lads were stood in the hall as he seemed to pass a gimlet eye over each boy present as he invited the culprit or culprits to come forward.

No reaction. He made an appeal for witnesses and suggested that everybody must have known who did it and all would be guilty by association if they failed to come forward. He may have introduced the possibility of Police fingerprint experts becoming involved. Still no reaction but even some wholly innocent “detainees” later admitted to feeling shifty and uncomfortable as his eyes bore into them. His next ploy was an attempt to introduce a bit of peer pressure. “I’m going to keep your all here until those responsible own up“.

It was the end of the school day and we all had stuff to do and wanted to get out of the hot hall. But still no reaction from the sweaty throng, and time ticked on, as Tiger glowered as he threatened, and brightened as he cajoled. between oppressive silences. His speech even got on to how it was the British and manly way to own up and take your punishment.

Eventually, after what seemed like hours, an individual either cracked under the pressure, or bored and fed up with the repeated B movie Cop performance did step forward to take the rap and the rest of us were dismissed.

Some expressed admiration for Tiger and his methods in getting a “cough” without any witnesses or evidence. Quite a few regretted that the show didn’t continue long enough for us to watch Tiger start to sweat and squirm as the crime remained undetected.

Item sent in by Dave Thacker 5K 1970/71

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